2024: A Year of Eugh, Eugh, Eugh.

By: Leah Watkins

This is us an hour and a half before 2025.

Hi. I’m back. I took a month or so off because my life got incredibly chaotic. My original plans for a four-part series were interrupted by the stress of moving during the holidays and my daily job. Needless to say, my stress has been through the roof, and my creativity also took a hit.

2024 taught me how to be comfortable with loss—deep loss—the kind of loss you typically joke about or read about in the Bible. The loss was so much, that I went full Holiness and began to think something evil must have a hold on us. Which, is a stretch for me considering I barely acknowledge that denomination anymore. But, in the words of every non-demon pastor ever, we experienced our “Job” year. A year where everything is taken away, your faith is reshaped, and you have a choice of choosing God, or the way of the world.

I used to roll my eyes at this concept when I heard it being taught in church. “How could you not have faith in God, it’s so easy. God clearly gave them this challenge to grab your attention. If it were me I’d know exactly what to do.” Fun fact, I did not know what to do. I thought about doing everything BUT going to Christ first, including cigarettes (I told you I was down bad). So what kept me from going off the deep end? Can I be vulnerable with this answer? I don’t know. I feel like the answer is much deeper than just the Holy Spirit guiding me.

If you’ve ever been completely stripped of everything you know, then maybe you can understand what I mean. I lost everything that gave me a sense of identity. My job, money, sense of home, a close friend, being in a management position, and even my way of daily living. But maybe that’s it. Those things were my identity. I moved to Savannah for a high-paying management job. I was on top of the world. We were, as the kids say, balling. We had a lux apartment and paid rent like it was nothing. for two and a half months, I was a boss who thought she knew it all. Until I didn’t.

What happens when all you have left is your marriage and faith in God? Well, let me tell you, the temptation is to lean into your fight or flight. Run as fast as you can to the nearest comforting source. That’s what I did for the first few weeks, and I quickly realized I was driving a wedge between God and my husband. I had to rewire my brain and remember where my identity lies. Because when all of the shiny glamour left me, God stayed solid, and in return He let my marriage stay solid too.

My husband and I saw different sides of each other in 2024. Some of the ugliest, most selfish, and disrespectful parts of our souls. One argument led to me shouting, and slamming a door then grabbing the keys to go to… Kroger? Target? I don’t know where I was going, we all know I wouldn’t have made it three minutes down the street. But after we calmed down, we began to see why we were married in the first place. A man that can withstand the wrath of screaming nonsense without budging, is the right man. He imitated Christ by being a rock against my crashing waves of doubt. So in return, I did the same for him.

Then slowly, after some months passed. Things started getting better. We noticed small things, like being able to have a small date night or get a surprise dragon fruit when grocery shopping (Have you seen the price of those things??). That’s what it’s all about. The small joys in life that give consistent glimpses of God’s mercy. I discovered that I could thrive in a retail job, that my husband is really good at marketing, and that a priest could be my closest friend. Most importantly, I discovered my love for writing after almost two decades of saying I wasn’t good enough. I even wrote a book!

Yes, our Job year was hell. But our God was so, so sweet. I don’t know what 2025 is going to look like, but I do know how my identity will look. Happy New Year.

Kyrie Eleison— Lord have mercy upon us.

LR Watkins