Submission is Supposed to be Joyful...
By Leah Watkins
“The more I made fun of submission, the more I mocked the cross and the bride of Christ.”
Ok, so I actually like submitting to my husband. Ahh! Submission has been a hot topic for the last couple of years, and I have been nervous about writing about it. Mostly because I don’t want to seem like a slave to my husband (because ya girl could never). But I also don’t want to ignore the biblicality of submission, and no, I am not going to quote Ephesians to you. I believe submission has a deeper meaning.
How can I like submission? The first reason is that my husband, Jason, was fully submitted to God before I married him. If there is a decision to be made, he understands how to have grace and consider me first. There is no “what I say is best” because he has learned humility through Christ and knows that he might be wrong. He’ll even start a conversation with, “Hey, I might be wrong on this, so please let me know..” If he is wrong, I tell him, but I also consider his original approach and try to find a balance. Ultimately, submission requires communication from both parties.
The second reason is that I trust him. I might be wrong, but I think a lot of wives are nervous to give up that “control.” They worry that the outcome won’t benefit the family as a whole. I’ve asked this question to other wives before, and I usually get a laugh, followed by a no, and then a “I can’t leave him alone for five seconds.” If you can’t trust the person you're married to, then submission is hard. If you feel the need to do everything in a marriage because your husband is incapable, then why did you marry him?
The third reason is that Jason also submits to me. I will recognize that a lot of men get off on having power in a relationship. This type of man is toxic. This is the incorrect way to practice submission. Real submission within a husband happens when he places his selfish wants aside, brings his decision to Christ first, and then brings in his wife for guidance.
Reason number four is an important one. I had to recognize that I was already submitting to a man, Christ. I couldn’t say that I was Christian, repentant of my sins, and believed in the Trinity without submission. The more I made fun of submission, the more I mocked the cross and the bride of Christ. How could I ask God to give me a spouse when I was too prideful to let him be a spouse? This realization happened on my first few dates with my husband. I wouldn’t let him do anything, and it got to a point where he looked at me and said, “Leah, I’m not trying to take away who you are, I just really like providing for you. I like serving you; it’s how I show love.” That one hurt.
The fifth and final reason is that submission brings unity. When you submit to God, you have a relationship where you are in direct communication, and He provides for you. It’s a beautiful cycle, and all voids are filled with grace, patience, and peace. Submission should be the same for marriages. An earthly cycle where two people put their desires away and consider what would be best for their marriage in the eyes of God. A man who finds joy in submission will find joy in bringing his wife closer to God. A woman who finds joy in submission will find joy in watching her husband pray for their future and trusting his faith in God.
A few reminders:
Women who are controlling in a marriage are just as toxic as men who are controlling. This is toxic and abusive on both sides. One person cannot dominate a marriage.
If submission makes you angry, ask yourself how or if you’ve been submitting to God lately. Keep that pride in check.
There will be times when you or your spouse fail at submission, and that’s ok. That’s where forgiveness and grace come in.
If you’re single reading this, practice this time to learn about how to humble yourself before God. Learn how to rely on his first.
A man who is submitting to his wife is also serving her.
Well, that’s all I got today, friends. As always, leave a comment for me, and share! If you like what you read, then feel free to subscribe. Until Saturday, Kyrie Eleison—Lord, have mercy upon us.
LR Watkins
Excellent!♥️♥️